Be a Good Sport
Friday, 16 March 2007
BE A SPORT ……… An extract from an article by child psychologist Susan Davey.
 
Should a child learn in a relaxed, non-competitive atmosphere or be encouraged to have a ‘play to win’ attitude. Where you stand on this issue will depend on your personal sporting background.
 
When children become too focused on winning, the danger is they will only feel happy after a success. Their whole self esteem may rest on the outcome of a match often because they believe their parents or peers will only like and accept them if they win.
 
They may be bad tempered when the chips are down and ungracious to those who have beaten them. If parents are pushing their children to win at all costs, the whole experience can be riddled with anxiety. It is not surprising that many talented sports children burn out and give up at an early age.
 
On the plus side, competition provides a stimulating edge to sport. Anything can happen in contests and the drama it inspires appeals to participants and spectators alike.
 
With proper guidance, children can learn through sport, learning how to persevere when they feel like giving up, how to accept defeat and victory, what it means to work co-operatively in a team and how to cope under pressure. All of these skills will aid them in other areas of life, particularly at school when the expectation to succeed becomes more intense in the secondary years.
 
Many children will be attracted to a certain sport and want to play competitively regardless of parental influence. However, it is a good idea to play down the importance of winning and emphasise other goals such as participating, enjoying the activity, improving and developing skills, preparing for an event and being a co-operative team member.
 
Team sports are an excellent avenue for fostering friendships and giving a child a strong sense of belonging to a group.
 
Sporting tips:
 
  • Avoid comparisons with peers, siblings or yourself as a child.
  • Do not make your love or approval dependent on a child winning.
  • Be positive whether a child wins or loses.
  • Encourage the attitudes of good sportsmanship such as fairness, trying hard and supporting others. Emulate these if your are playing yourself and take action quickly if your child develops an unpleasant or superior attitude.
  • Do not get competitive with opposing parents.
  • Do not make children participate in sports if they feel overly anxious or pressured.
  • Empathise with losses and watch that a child’s self worth is not too dependent on his/her success in sport.